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It’s Not About You

Have you ever been disliked or rejected for no reason? I have, and it hurts.

Most recently, it’s Remy. He’s a golden palomino who lives at an equestrian facility less than five minutes from my place. I could brush, scratch and just be with him for hours.

He tolerates my visits, but I don’t think he likes me. He’ll let me groom, tack and lead him around—he doesn’t shy away or flatten his ears—but he’ll only approach me if he thinks I have a treat.

Remy is the exact opposite of a big black quarter horse I once knew. Milo. I cried for three days after leaving that horse (What You’ll Never Lose).

Remy isn’t just a different breed than Milo, he has a different personality. His lifestyle and past is unique and completely unknown to me. He’s more anxious and alert than the average horse, and he hates change. Remy is reserved, guarded, watchful and almost resigned.

It’s not always about us

Remy has let his guard down twice with me. Both times he’d finished all his hay and had nothing better to do. He actually relaxed with me, and even nudged me with his soft golden muzzle.

That reminded that in relationships, timing is everything.

It's Not Always About You She Blossoms Newsletter

The other thing he’s teaching me is that sometimes we’re simply not liked or accepted for reasons we’ll never know or understand. Most of the time those reasons aren’t even our fault. 

The individual’s personality or past might not resonate with ours, or we remind them of someone they once knew. Maybe they’ve been hurt so often they just don’t have the strength or energy to let their guard down.

When someone dislikes or rejects you

It’s not always about you personally. You may remind them of someone or something that hurt them. Or maybe they want to withdraw for reasons they can’t remember and don’t understand. 

If someone doesn’t want to be with you, it’s not because you’re a bad person. It may be because there are other things going on that have nothing to do with you.

Be gentle with yourself today—especially if you’re feeling cast away or disliked. Know that sometimes people draw near, and sometimes they pull away. 

No matter what they say or do, you are still you. Good, holy and more important than you realize. 

With love,



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4 thoughts on “It’s Not About You”

  1. You have made my night! I read your stories and can relate to them perfectly! I would like to sell my house and move but I’m scared at 55 and divorced. I thought I married my soul mate but he was just a really good actor and showed me what a narcissist is. So I have been depressed, not going out so I don’t run into him and his new lady and all my friends are couples and moved away after retirement. Thank you for sharing your stories! I need to take a leap and find some lady friends to do things with to stay motivated!!
    Lots of love to you!!


  2. I am lonely; I have moved into a Senior Living apartment. My husband died unexpectantly; my two children are married with busy lives. I have many regrets….