I’m traveling through Nevada—and, thankfully, my brain wasn’t damaged when I slipped and fell last week on an icy ramp on the Oregon Coast.
Last week in When Life Isn’t Safe or Easy I described how I fell while filming the sea lions in Astoria. I hit my head on the steel plank so hard, I thought for sure my skull was cracked.
And maybe it is. But if so, I feel fine. My goose egg shrunk to the size of a chick pea, and it doesn’t hurt at all. I can take a full breath without wincing. Just between you and me, I was a little worried because I have osteoporosis. My bones are as porous as sponge; the doctor advised me to fall as little as possible.
I try not to get hurt. Probably you do, too.
When it’s all in your head
Even though my phone kept recording the sea lions when I fell, I couldn’t bring myself to watch the footage. I can still hear the BAM! when the back of my head hit the steel plank. I thought it’d be traumatizing to relive it.
But I wanted to share the sea lion video. So yesterday I took a deep breath, squared my shoulders, and put my big girl pants on.
It was all in my head.
If you watch my video (Barking Sea Lions in Astoria, Oregon – You Can Hear Them From Miles Away!), you’ll hear what the seagulls heard. A little whoosh, then silence. Except, of course, for the barking, sneezing and wheezing lions.
Replaying your injuries
The back of my head has been tingling ever since I edited that sea lion video. It’s like I woke it up and it doesn’t quite know what to do but thinks it should do something.
I wonder if this is why sometimes some of us don’t heal. Not just physical injuries, but emotional and spiritual wounds. We replay the trauma by remembering, talking, writing, reliving or even rewatching painful old videos.
Sometimes we don’t just leave our wounds alone so they can heal.
How healing might happen
Last week when I walked back to my camper van, I caressed the goose egg on the back of my head. And I laughed! Several times that day I found myself laughing at how lucky I was that my phone didn’t skitter off into the water, that I just got up and kept filming those barking sea lions.
I laughed for the sheer joy of being alive.
I think I healed faster because I loved and appreciated my amazing thick skull. I hugged my ribs and patted my heart. My body was strengthened something internal and external. Call it God, Yahweh, consciousness, divine inspiration—doesn’t matter.
What matters is that something in us pulses with life, energy, and love! And when we dip it into it in a million little ways throughout the day, we experience a million little bursts of pure light and energy.
And it helps us heal.
What didn’t help me heal was reliving the experience. I won’t be watching my sea lion video again, but I hope you do. Those lions really know how to voice their opinions!