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When Life Shuts You Down

Is life throwing health problems at you? You might be interested in 4 Reasons Nice Girls Are Prone to Chronic Illness (Being Good is Bad for Your Body!).

Not only do I have health issues, my life has a mind of her own. I’m just following along like a lost puppy.

I’d planned to spend this winter—The Winter of My Separation—in Fredericton, New Brunswick. However, health issues and abnormal blood test results brought me back to British Columbia (Should You Stay or Should You Go? 5 Signs It’s Time to Leave).

My family doctor referred me to a hematologist; my appointment with her isn’t until May 2023.

So what, pray tell, will I do for the next five months? Where will I go? I have dreams, but my life has other plans.

2 Dreams My Life Has Crushed (for now)

Here’s what I’d do if I had my way:

1. Go to India. I’d love to wander around India for at least a month. A couple years ago I went to Nepal and was planning to fly from Kathmandu to Varanasi, but life shut me down (What to Do When They Refuse to Let You Board the Flight). However, getting an Indian visa takes at least two months and I’d have to send my passport away to get that visa. No thank you.

2. Walk the Camino de Santiago in Spain. A spiritual pilgrimmage! And after I walk to enlightenment, I’d visit Marrakech, Morocco and perhaps Greece. However, I can barely walk up a hill because my hip is so sore, and some days I’m completely exhausted. It’s not the right time to travel with a backpack.

2 Alternatives My Life Has Blocked 

1. Spend the winter on Vancouver Island. Go on a 10 day meditation retreat, read my old journals, make videos of wise old me giving young dumb me advice. But the meditation retreat is full and my arthritic hip aches at the thought of a long, rainy, bone-chilling winter BC.

2. Stay home in Vancouver. My husband and I can share a house and live platonically quite happily. However, he’s using the loft as his office. It’s completely open, so I can hear all his phone calls, Zoom meetings and work angst. Plus our house is built on a cliff, has multiple staircases and 70 steps, and is surrounded by hills. My hip hurts here.

My New Destination—Will Life Say Yes?

I love the desert. I’ve been to the Negev in Israel a few times, and could spend 40 days and f40 nights there. Last year I went to Death Valley (desert) in California, and drove back home through Nevada and Utah (lots of desert). I didn’t have time to linger.

Plus Sedona, Arizona! It’s a mystical, spiritual destination with tangible electromagnetic earth energy called vortexes. I’ll visit Cathedral Rock, Bell Rock, Boynton Canyon, the Seven Sacred Pools and the Sedona Public Library.

Best of all, I’ll be in my camper van and can rest anytime. Ruby’s solar panels were built for hot sunny climates.

So, my friend, next week I may be emailing you from the desert. Or the Oregon coast. Why rush? 🙂 

When Life Shuts You Down

How are you at rolling with what life brings? It’s not easy. Even when life gives you good things—family, safety, love, a home, a job, money, food, a relationship, a puppy—it’s challenging. 

It’s even harder when you face death, divorce, disease. Despair. Sometimes it feels like life is breaking your heart and destroying your spirits. I get it. I feel the pain. Lots of it.

Can you release your grip on your plans, hopes, expectations, and attachments? If you stop resisting your life, you’ll experience profound peace and power. Acceptance—following your life like a puppy—doesn’t mean you roll over and get beaten. It means you shake it off, trust your caretaker, and trot down a new path.

4 Reasons Nice Girls Are Prone to Chronic Illness (Being Good is Bad for Your Body!)

Speaking of new paths, I discovered Dr Gabor Maté’s The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture. It inspired me to think about my health, and make 4 Reasons Nice Girls Are Prone to Chronic Illness (Being Good is Bad for Your Body!).

With pleasure,



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1 thought on “When Life Shuts You Down”

  1. Nice to be able to write to a person who’s in shutdown mode also, of course I wish that neither of us were here but alas, here we are. I would love nothing more than to get a mobile home and escape where I am. I envy you.

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