Being surprised or even shocked by the sounds and sights of your body is weird when you’re alone—and it’s mortifying when you’re in public!
I had a doctor’s appointment yesterday; her office is a 20 minute walk from my place. After our appointment—during which she poked and prodded my abdominal area—I felt the slight need to go to the bathroom. No big deal, right?
On my way home instead of taking the shortcut through the forest, I decided to take the long route. Nothing healthier than a 45 minute walk on a gorgeous day, right?
Except that the longer I walked, the more urgently I needed to pee. It was exponential. Every step added one more teaspoon to my already sloshing, brimming, near-overflowing bladder. And that was just on level ground: climbing the steep hill to my house seemed to tilt my pelvis and increase the pressure.
It happened outside my neighbor’s house. Literally the house right next to mine. I peed my pants.
Betrayed by my body?
Not really. She’s been giving me signs (leakage, urgency) for a couple of years. This was simply the crescendo. She’s just doing what bodies do.
After I showered and threw all my clothes in the washing machine (thank God I wasn’t on the road in Ruby, my camper van!), I needed a mindless meander through Facebook.
Here’s the first thing I saw in my “Van Life With Senior Women” group:
“Hello ladies, time for an honest truth… I was in a parking lot, went around to the sliding door on my van and tried to get in. Apparently I have no strength in my quads anymore because I didn’t make it and fell backwards onto the ground, peeing myself in the process! SO embarrassing!”
Immediately I felt better. I’m not alone, and neither is my body! I savored all the supportive, kind, loving comments from the women in the group. I also realized that my body isn’t doing anything new or weird or bad—and she’s not even betraying me. She’s just being a body.
If my body can accept me for who I am—and she wholeheartedly does—then I can accept her for who she is. Pees and all.
Speaking of bodies…
In my new video Sex After Separating & Starting Over: 7 Things Marriage Taught Me About Love & Intimacy I share how a breakup – especially after years of marriage – can reveal more about sex, love and intimacy than the relationship itself. Here’s what I learned about sex in my 50s after a separation and starting over.
With a blush,